Ron White is Right

A native Texan known for his stand-up comedy, Ron White uses the phrase "You can't fix stupid" to epitomize the incredible absurdity of people. Since it's Monday and I generally try to start the week off on a somewhat humorous note, what follows seems to just add validity to his phrase.

Recently, at a fast food restaurant, the menu offered a choice of 6, 9 or 12 chicken pieces. However, when a customer  asked for a half dozen the employee informed him: "We don't have a half dozen pieces. We only have six, nine or twelve."

When checking out of a local big box discount store I had just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. To keep her from reaching, I put one of the dividers they keep near the cash register between our merchandise. After the cashier had scanned all my items, she picked up the divider and looked at it all over for the bar code. Not finding a scannable bar code she asked: "Do you know how much this is?" I told her, "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "okay" and I just paid for my items and left. She had no clue what happened.

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into the floppy drive of her computer and pulling it out very quickly. A co-worked inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

An individual who works in the operations department at the central office of a large bank is responsible for assisting employees in the field and at other branches with their computers. One evening he received a call from a worker in one of the branch banks who asked: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Did you guys have a fire downtown?"

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the child was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the child Benadryl and it should be fine. The mother then replied: "Okay, but I just gave him some ant killer ... The dispatcher interrupter her with the command: "Rush him to the emergency room!"

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid. Remember, you don't stop laughing because you grow old ... you grow old because you stop laughing.