Warped Musings

Last night I happened to wander into a well known national chain of stores who prides itself on being open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. It started my somewhat warped thought process and I began to wonder about a few things. Since it's Monday, a new week, I thought perhaps you could irritate your friends and co-workers with some of the musings.

Driving away from this store I began to wonder, if it is open 24/7 all year long, why do they have locks on the door?

While on the topic of stores, a well known national chain of drug stores promotes healthy living and even offers suggestions on its website. Yet, when you enter one of their stores, all the health related items are at the very back of the store while cigarettes and tobacco related items are all right up front making them more accessible. And, the liquor and beer is usually in the middle of the place. Who in their right mind is going to walk another 10 yards for some soy protein drink when they can stop and get a beer?

In some parts of the country a staple of late night advertising is the telephone psychic. According to their ad, a psychic will answer the phone and help you. The spot shows a woman answering the phone, introducing herself and then asking for the caller's name and asking how can she help them. This is an individual that professes to have some form of ESP (extrasensory perception). If they're really a psychic would they already know that?

A clue that something may not be quite right can be found in many of our nation's newspapers' classified ads. Specifically, the "help wanted" section. When I was in Tucson a few years ago a newspaper carried a help wanted listing that read in part: "Psychics needed. No experience necessary. Will Train."

And who was the genius that coined the term "rush hour" when it's the time of day with the slowest traffic?

Today's economy seems to be forcing mergers of various banks and corporations. I wonder if Fedex and UPS merged would the new entity be called FedUP? How about Grey Poupon and Docker Pants? Just think ... Poupon Pants. And last but not least, what if Knott's Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women joined forces ..... maybe KnottNOW?

Have a great week!