Monday, May 3, 2010

Exercises in Thought

Throughout our lives we question many things. Some of us seemingly make a career of questioning authority, while some of us question things just to perplex others. I simply enjoy doing both.

The following are examples of a few things some thinking people might wonder about and lead others to question their sanity.
  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
  • Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
  • Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
  • Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
  • Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
  • Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest but ducks when someone throws a gun at him?
 Then, there are some thoughts, when uttered aloud, people look at you as if you just did something in a swimming pool that goes against all accepted behavior. For example pondering such religious truths as:
  • Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
  • Jews do not recognize Jesus Christ as the Messiah.
  • Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
  • Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
But, as a native Texan, this is one of my favorites. One Texan defined political correctness this way:
"A doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Have a great week!

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